How to Break the Lie of “l Can’t”

Full discloser this first blog post is a doozy. I’m going all in on what happens when you believe the lie “You can’t...” How much this lie has cost me. And, WHY you must muster your courage and say “watch me.”

Let’s start with a confession:

I was scared to death to write this first blog post. Like procrastinate until the last hour, avoid at all costs, scared. Seems crazy right? I mean my job title literally says “CEO, Speaker, Author.”

Writing has been a passion for me since I was a little girl. I was always writing little stories and stapling lined pages together to make my books.

During my 8th grade creative writing class, I decided I wanted to be an author one day. I promised Mrs. Joersz that I would dedicate my first book to her. It was a promise I fulfilled in 2015 when our company self-published my first coaching course.

I’m an author and a writer. I’ve proven it over and over again. I’ve written countless blog posts, wrote copy on dozens of website pages, authored a bible study, wrote an entire 8 week coaching program, and that’s only in the last few years!

What am I so afraid of?

How is one teeny blog post throwing me for a loop?

The lie of “You can’t”

Writer is the hardest job title I wear. I’ve been told “you can’t… ” so many times it’s worn a deep wound in my confidence and psyche as a writer. It’s the one job title I have that causes me the greatest amount of worry. Not CEO, not CFO, not even Speaker. Writer.

“You can’t talk about that someone will misunderstand.”
“I read your latest post. I’m concerned that…”
“You shouldn’t say that. What will people think?”
“Practice what you preach. You can’t write about conflict resolution if you refuse to communicate with me.”
“You’re a public figure and you have to expect this kind of treatment.”

You guys I’m serious. I’ve been verbally berated for stories I’ve shared. I’ve been told I was mediocre and then my content stolen and used. I’ve had people come unhinged because I dare share details about my life. I’ve received horrific comments that have brought me to tears.

And the worst thing is these aren’t trolls on the internet. Oh no. Trolls are nothing when your worst critics are people you know.

What this lie has cost me.

The very worst thing is this teeny tiny handful of people have kept me scared to write for years now. That’s what this lie has cost me. My passion and curiosity for writing have taken a hit because every time I wrote, someone got mad at me.

In the past I would constantly rewrite sentences to make sure no one would ever figure out who I’m referring to if I share a story from my life experiences. Heaven for bid I ever told the truth about how I was treated. This lie kept me up at night worrying that someone might misunderstand my words and think I’m mean, hateful, or a hypocrite. 

This lie of “you can’t…” has cost me a lot. Too much.

“A lie is still a lie even if you choose to believe it.”
Raychel Perman

Taking the Power Back

The truth changes things. Secrets and lies do not. And let’s all be honest the lies are making us “full of sick and jealous” (As my Claire used to say when she was 3 years old) and we can’t do it anymore.

No more silence. It’s time for truth.

Maybe you are not a writer; but, I bet you have been told “you can’t,” in some form or fashion when it comes to your career. A boss. A family member. A well-meaning friend. The media. And maybe you’ve been playing small because you believed them. You can’t. You shouldn’t. So you didn’t.

But you must. You must do what they say you can’t. Because we need you and your skills, curiosity, and passion. We need your experiences, your honesty, and your perspective. We need you!

Making the change.

How do you start turning the lie of “you can’t” on its head? You make one choice that moves one inch closer to doing what you’ve been told you can’t. My one step is publishing this blog post and sending it out into the world! What will yours be?

Stop waiting for the right moment. Fear doesn’t always leave. Sometimes you have to do it afraid. This. This is your moment.

Burn the bridges. Dance in the ashes. Break the glass ceilings. Be a truth teller. It won’t be easy. It will be damn hard. But, you have this one life to live and I want to see you live it with a twinkle in your eye and a “watch me” grin on your face.

With love and moxie,
-Raychel Perman

Raychel Perman is the CEO of RAYMA Team. She is funny, wise, and tells it like it is. Raychel is a talented Coach, Business Strategist, Writer and Speaker. She married her soulmate, Josh, in 2019, and lives in North Dakota with her husband, 3 children, and fur-baby, Bela.